Toilet Humor

Things to do in a public restroom

• Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbour, ''May I borrow a highlighter?


• ''Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.''


• Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise


• ''Hmmm, I've never seen that colour before"


• ''Damn, this water is cold.''


• Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a shoe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.


• ''Now how did that get there?''


• ''Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.''


• Fill up a large flask with lemonade. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while yelling,' Whoa! Easy boy!!'


• '' Interesting....more sinkers than floaters''


• Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say,' Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"


• ''C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"


• ''Boy, that sure looks like a maggot''


• ''Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?''


• Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks


• Before you unroll toilet paper, lay down your ''Cross-Dressers Anonymous'' newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.


• Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbour and say, ''Peek-a-boo!''


• Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing ''Born Free.''